Translate

Wednesday 11 September 2013

Wolves

I recently watched a documentary about a boy that had been raised by wolves. He had adopted many of their characteristics. For example, eating raw meat, howling at the moon and the inability to play football.
At a glance, such an existence would appear unfavourable. However, on closer examination, it is evident that such an upbringing does provide certain advantages. Trivial niceties and manners become redundant, politics become irrelevant, whilst ripping undesirables to bits and feasting on them would surely be forgivable. In fact, a lupine childhood would excuse all manner of taboo activities.

I was abandoned in the wilderness at an early age myself. Being raised by dandelions left few mental scars. Although to this very day, I am still unable to tell the time without sufficient wind.


27 comments:

  1. I was raised by slugs

    ReplyDelete
  2. I was raised by wombats

    ReplyDelete
  3. I love the sly swipe at Wolverhampton Wanderers.

    ReplyDelete
  4. I think you might have issues.

    ReplyDelete
  5. Why is it always wolves that raise children left in the wild?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. lol would love to know that one aswell? shame poor wolves!!

      Delete
    2. I think that the legend of Romulus and Remus started this way.

      Delete
  6. Being raised by dolphins would probably be nice, but not very practical.

    ReplyDelete
  7. Unlucky if you are being raised by badgers at the moment.

    ReplyDelete
  8. Would have preferred some other animal rather hahaha

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Rabbits.... that might be fun.... shagging day after day after day.... just like some fun parties!!! Mind you, getting down those holes... RABBIT warrens... not the holes at the parties... hehe

      Delete
  9. You my friend are completely mad. But your blog is just so funny. Thank you for all the smiles.

    ReplyDelete
  10. Does being raised by dandelions leave you in fear of rabbits?

    ReplyDelete
  11. I don't believe it. Surely wolves would eat a baby.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Just because you would eat a baby, it doesn't mean wolves would.

      Delete
    2. That would be babies, with a large portion of fries and several sides.

      Delete
  12. I think I might have been raised by beavers LOL

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Do you have a thing for beavers?

      Delete
    2. doesn't EVERYONE here have a thing for 'beavers'? I could eat a beaver for HOURS and never tire... (couldn't eat a baby though as per someone's comment above... but beaver? mmmm delicious!!)

      Delete
    3. Do you have a special recipe for beaver?

      Delete
    4. Usually eaten raw... sometimes completely bereft of fur, sometimes fur intact.... no need for cooking as the beaver does heat up and creates it's own delicious juices whilst being eaten... scent and taste is awesome and there is a little fleshy 'nub' which when sucked hard or nibbled gently generates even more juices to help with the enjoyment of beaver eating... swallow everything for complete satisfaction!!
      Can ALSO be eaten following and injection of thick white cream - usually from a male... Both ways taste divine!!!

      Delete