Throughout history, there have been an abundance of ridiculous speeches made by political figures. The Iraqi Minister of Information, Mohammad Saeed al-Sahhaf could barely open his mouth without making a fool of himself. The tabloids aptly nicknamed him Comical Ali.
At present, David Cameron is doing his best to give him a run for his money. However, The Americans still hold the title with the classic JFK speech in Berlin. Ich bin ein Berliner. The most powerful man in the world described himself as a donut.
It could of been worse. He could have been in Paris. To the Germans, a Pariser is a condom.
eBay has revolutionised shopping. Supposedly, there is nothing that can't be sold in this global market place. If you've got a second hand scud missile, there is someone willing to bid for it. If you've got a phial of anthrax virus, no problem, the bids will come thick and fast. There's probably someone out there successfully negotiating the sale of to a Malaysian airplane.
With that in mind, why can't I offload my Jim'll Fix It badge?
There was a time when I empathised with foxes. Harried from pillar to post by baying hounds and chinless wonders. That was until I read an article about a fox that had travelled a record breaking 40 miles from its home. I was not impressed.
Foxes have got it easy. If I want to make it into the Guinness Book of World Records, I'm required to crack a couple of hundred walnuts with my forehead or eat a Vauxall Astra.
Do you have a rear that resembles two zeppelins colliding in a pair of pants?
Have puffins attempted to nest in the crevices between your rolls of fat?
Have you been having sleepless nights due to you lack of a Valentines card......again?
Chins up fatty, it's pancake day tomorrow!
