Translate

Wednesday 25 June 2014

The World Cup

England and Spain are already out. No doubt dogs have been kicked, wives beaten and vast numbers of bars have been wrecked across both nations. It's not just the supporters and their kin that are feeling the pain. Online betting sites are also suffering. With England out, interest is waning. 
However, with a bit of careful marketing the money should soon be rolling in again. They have to re-examine their product. It is common knowledge that most international footballers are vastly overpaid and extremely thick. In addition to this, Brazil can be a very dangerous environment for the ignorant. So why not set odds for the demise of players.

Killed by rioters 15/1
Killed by riot police 12/1
Eaten by a crocodile 12/1

Organs harvested for black market 20/1

Killed by sexually transmitted disease 5/2
Death from tropical disease 25/1
Bitten by a Brazilian Wandering Spider 12/1
Eaten by piranhas 14/1
Eaten by indigenous tribe 10/1
Eaten by Luis Suarez 2/1

Thursday 19 June 2014

QI

I love the television program QI. Stephen Fry, arguably one of the smartest people in the country, challenges our knowledge of everyday facts and presents us with some rather unconventional new ones. I particularly enjoy the strange and unusual facts about the animal kingdom. Here are a few of my favourites.
There is no such thing as a fish!
Kangaroos can't fart!
The fingerprints of a koala are the same as those of a human!

All strange and unusual facts that are open for debate. However, there is one animal fact that I would dispute. There is no way that a cheetah is the fastest animal. I know that there might be some of you out there claiming that a peregrine falcon is the fastest. They are certainly faster than a cheetah, but not a patch on a weasel fired out of a cannon.


Tuesday 10 June 2014

Dragons' Den 3

I've suggested a couple of ideas in the past that I would like to pitch on Dragons' Den in the hope of getting some financial backing. Some people have suggested that I would stand little chance of success. Although I'm quietly confident. Take a good look around you and you will be amazed at some of the products that have somehow gone into production.

I was in the supermarket the other day, when I noticed that someone has invented Toilet Kerplunk. Amazing! They were probably sat on the toilet going about their business and came to the conclusion that the experience would be greatly enhanced by the addition of a children's game. I like their thinking.
Unfortunately, there is a bit of a flaw to this idea. Kerplunk is a game for two or more people. Somehow, I get the feeling that this might lead to trouble. Just ask George Michael!