The World Cup

England and Spain are already out. No doubt dogs have been kicked, wives beaten and vast numbers of bars have been wrecked across both nations. It's not just the supporters and their kin that are feeling the pain. Online betting sites are also suffering. With England out, interest is waning. 

However, with a bit of careful marketing the money should soon be rolling in again. They have to re-examine their product. It is common knowledge that most international footballers are vastly overpaid and extremely thick. In addition to this, Brazil can be a very dangerous environment for the ignorant. So why not set odds for the demise of players.

Killed by rioters 15/1

Killed by riot police 12/1

Eaten by a crocodile 12/1

Organs harvested for black market 20/1

Killed by sexually transmitted disease 5/2

Death from tropical disease 25/1

Bitten by a Brazilian Wandering Spider 12/1

Eaten by piranhas 14/1

Eaten by indigenous tribe 10/1

Eaten by Luis Suarez 2/1