Music Festivals

As summer draws to a close, so does the great music festival season. Every year, thousands of music enthusiasts, fun seekers and supporters of the arts elect to spend their weekends in muddy fields surrounded by hippies, drug dealers, nutters and the great unwashed in an attempt to witness their musical heroes strutting their stuff in the flesh.

Besides risking trench foot, food poisoning, premature deafness and a whole host of unpleasant diseases, revellers have to endure the horrors of the festival toilet facilities, or lack of them. At best, this involves standing in a long queue with all manner of weirdoes, awaiting the opportunity to squat over soiled festering dung hole in a chemical toilet cubicle.

Meanwhile, the prized position in front of the main stage has been taken by somebody else.

Time away from the main stage is always a problem. Not every act is required viewing. whilst some are to be actively avoided. Imagine having to witness a two hour set by Robbie Williams or one of the Gallagher brothers, just to gain the opportunity to see  a worthwhile act. Consequently, there will be times when it is deemed necessary to abandon a good vantage point.

When confronted with this quandary, I like to take a leaf out of nature's book. Following the example set by wolves, I like to urinate around my deck chair, thus marking my territory. It's amazing how few hippies are prepared to encroach on your space following such a blatant display. Allowing you to go about your business and return to your original chosen spot.