WTF!

According to the education authorities, texting is having a negative influence on our children's education. Grammar and punctuation standards are rapidly in decline, as the English language is reduced to the realms of Vedic Sanskrit.

The argument in favour of text speak suggests that it is just a matter of progress, presenting society with a new modern and efficient form of communication. That might be so, but how do selected abbreviations enter into this new lexicon?

Most people are now familiar with LOL, BRB, OMG and ROFL. However, I feel there is ample scope to develop and evolve text talk to mirror our modern society. Here are a few of my suggestions , but feel free to add some of your own. It's our language and this is a great opportunity to take ownership of it.

JKF -Jeremy Kyle Fodder - Common peasants who are uncertain of their parentage.

PFWS - Poking Fatties With Sticks - Why not?

TBAG - Throwing Bricks At Golfers - They have clearly given up on life and need a jolt back to reality.

OTSAB - Off To Shoot A Badger - A waste of bullets in my opinion, but the are many country folk that appear keen.

SKOE - Selling Kidney On Ebay - There comes a time when the Loan Sharks demand their pound of flesh.