Human Resources

As Europe undergoes financial hardship, businesses everywhere are looking to save money to cut their overheads. Unfortunately, this often means the reduction of staff. Unemployment follows as sure as night follows day. However, this need not necessarily be the case.

A recent trip to the cinema opened my eyes to an appalling waste of human resources. A bored usherette stood to the side of the restless audience, brandishing a tray of over priced refreshments. Not a single potential customer approached her or even acknowledged her existence. Anybody requiring refreshments to enhance their cinematic experience would have saved a small fortune by bringing their own with them.

She served no purpose and gained little in the way of job satisfaction. It is only a matter of time before the manager views her as surplus to requirements and the axe falls once again. Fortunately, I've come up with a cunning plan. Rather than laying anybody off, why not just shuffle around the workforce and create a new position the would enhance the cinema goers enjoyment. I suggest the new position of Child Puncher. They could stealthily move about in the darkness, punching children that annoy other cinema goers with their ceaseless chatter and bouts of whopping cough. Just look at the benefits. Cinema goers have a more enjoyable experience, the employee has fulfilling employment and job satisfaction and to top it all, it would make for great entertainment should the movie fail to impress.