Wednesday, 30 April 2014

Doubting Thomas

Ask most Christians who their favourite disciple is, and it's a fair bet that it isn't Thomas. Due to most interpretations of the Gospels, Thomas is often slightly looked down upon, due to his lack of faith. However, is the common interpretation a true reflection of the man?

Thomas, also known as Didymus was originally referred to as The Twin. Although his twin is never named. Perhaps the reason for this is not because he was a twin, but was actually just fat. Fat of biblical proportions.

When Jesus had risen from the grave and presented himself to his followers, Thomas is said to have doubted that it was actually Jesus himself. Perhaps Thomas was not actually expressing doubts and was merely looking to reduce the numbers of the group. Thus allowing for larger portions when they distributed their food . It was a a smart move on the part of Thomas. If Jesus was rejected, he gains a larger dinner. Whilst if Jesus is accepted, he loses the Twin tag. Unfortunately for him, he was then saddled with the name Doubting Thomas. Better than being known as the Fat Bloke though.

Thursday, 24 April 2014

Baby On Board

I've never really understood why people feel the need to hang a little sign in the back window of their car announcing to the world that they have a Baby on Board. Do they honestly think it will impact on the attitude and driving skills of other road users. Generally speaking, my own sense of self preservation and desire to protect my own vehicle tends to be a sufficient incentive to drive carefully. Not once have I ever felt the need to increase my speed or reduce the breaking distance between myself and the car in front, just because they lacked the aforementioned sign.
So what point exactly is the driver in front trying to make with such a proclamation? Is it an attempt to brag about their ability to procreate? People have demonstrated the ability to reproduce since the birth of mankind, and judging by some of the dross frequenting daytime chat shows, it clearly does not require any particular gifts or skills. If they feel the need to make such a public declaration, then perhaps their limited intelligence should exclude them from taking the wheel of a motor vehicle.

By the time I've pondered the conundrum and passed judgement, my mind is sufficiently distracted and it's a little too late!

Monday, 14 April 2014

The London Marathon

Hours of pounding dog muck covered pavements came to fruition for thousands of runners yesterday in the London Marathon. The Great British public will be putting their hands in their pockets this week as they cough up thousands for pounds for a variety of good causes. Fair play, some of those runners really put themselves through hell.
Runners represented a complete cross section of our community. Besides Olympic trained athletes, there were the disabled, fun runners (many of which were in a variety of costumes) and celebrities. CJ de Mooi was hailed by the BBC as the fastest celebrity this year. I have no idea who is responsible for their research, but they clearly got that little gem wrong. Mo Farah came eighth, and there have been few better recognised celebrities than Mo over the past year.
The event got me thinking. If I was to run the London Marathon, what costume would I choose? Whatever it was, it would have to be something waterproof. After all, there is no way I could complete a run of that distance. Sooner or later, I would collapse into the gutter, and it would be just my luck that Paula Radcliffe would pee on me!

Wednesday, 9 April 2014


Dolphins generally get a good press. Many people have swimming with dolphins on their bucket list. We like dolphins! Well I don't!
When people are asked why they like dolphins, they usually quote the old chestnut about dolphins being as intelligent as humans. That is not much of boast in my opinion. Just look at the participants on the Jeremy Kyle Show (Jerry Springer Show for Americans).

 Just look around you. Everything that you see that has been manufactured was invented by humans. What have dolphins ever invented? I'll tell you what they haven't invented, a device for identifying tuna nets! Whenever this fact is pointed out, the usual comeback is to point out that the US Navy has trained dolphins to attach mines to the hulls of enemy ships. If they are so smart, why aren't they attaching some of those mines to the hulls of tuna fishing vessels?