Saturday, 31 August 2013


To many people, Psoriasis can be a blight on their social life. However, it is just a matter of perspective. Snakes for example don't consider it an issue.

There are in fact a couple of advantages to be gained from Psoriasis. Firstly, you need never buy fish food. Secondly, eating a bag of crisps is a never ending pleasure.

Thursday, 22 August 2013

White Van Man

Apparently, White Van Man has become the new social leper of our highways and byways. Double parking, cutting up other motorists and wiping out cyclists, as they go about their business of disposing of dead bodies and fly tipping.
Their lack of good manners and charm do little to endear them to other road users. However, that does not mean they are without comedy value. Especially if you happen to be a pedestrian. Next time a white van slows to make a idiotic manoeuvre within arms reach, try banging loudly on the side whilst shouting with venom in your voice that the driver is a pervert and hanging is too good for him. Then chuckle with glee as the Jeremy Kyle fodder leap to your assistance with bricks and a verbal torrent of their own. The police are unlikely to be called due to the lack of MOT, Car Tax and valid insurance.
Fun times!

Friday, 16 August 2013

Battle Rhino!

Steven Spielberg's movie War Horse was a tremendous box office success. It also had the critics singing his praises once again. You can't really argue with the financial returns. However, I think he could have improved the story line with a little bit of tinkering with the script.

The idea of a horse caught in the horrors of trench warfare will no doubt tug on a few heart strings, but it isn't really the best choice of animal for the environment. A horse is somewhat limited in it's fighting capacity. So why not swap the horse for a rhino?

Unleashing a rhino across no-mans-land would surely cause havoc in the German trenches. Especially once it catches a glimpse of the spikes on the German helmets popping up above the trenches. It's just a matter of plying the rhino with the right aphrodisiac and sending it over the top. Although powdered rhino horn might not be the wisest choice under the circumstances.

Once the rhino drops down into the German's trenches the ensuing chaos would surely make for a thoroughly enthralling movie masterpiece.

Friday, 9 August 2013

Children Of Courage Awards

I was recently made aware that the Yorkshire Children Of Courage Awards are looming on the horizon and they are seeking nominees. Most years, awards are dished out to children with life threatening diseases, disabilities and general hard luck stories. Now I accept that the circumstances that surrounds these children's lives is unfortunate, but it doesn't take courage to be sick, disabled or unlucky. I want to see awards presented to children that show true courage in the face of adversity.

I witnessed one such child the other day that left me truly overwhelmed. A ginger kid that went to an everyday state funded school. Now that shows true courage!