Thursday, 26 February 2015

Dog Walking

If you own a dog, you need to walk it. Some people find this therapeutic, some people find it a chore. Either way, there is one aspect of dog walking that nobody likes. That is cleaning up the steaming presents that your canine pal leaves along our highways and byways.
This need not be the case. Horse owners are not expected to clean up after their horse. So, when walking your dog, don a pair of thick comical glasses and put a saddle on your dog. Let it crap where it will, and if anyone says anything, just claim that you thought you bought a Shetland pony.

Thursday, 12 February 2015


It comes as no surprise that we have earned the tag Broken Britain. We never seem to finish anything. Whether it be building projects, road improvements or even wars, we just don't see the job through to the end.
I've spent much of the last week finishing off half painted cows,

Monday, 26 January 2015


It always amazes me the extent to which brothers can differ. Just look at the Goering Brothers. Herman was a Nazi war criminal, whilst his brother Albert was a true humanitarian, who used his influence to save the lives of Jews during the holocaust.
This is not a one off example. Even today brothers can be polar opposites. 
Dave Lee Travis, known by the initials DLT is a known sex offender. Whilst his brother Bacon, proved to be such a nice chap that he had a sandwich named after him.

Thursday, 15 January 2015


Why do so many girls feel the need to take Selfies when they go to the toilet?

My mate Harry walked in on his Granny on the toilet the other day. Due to her age, she is not really up to speed with modern technology. Not wanting the old girl to miss out, he took one for her.

Sunday, 4 January 2015


According to Woburn Safari Park, sea lions are faster than humans both on land and in water.
So if you're thinking of taking one on in a triathlon, it would probably be in your best interest to work on your cycling.