Friday, 30 November 2012


Once again, great swathes of the country are under water. It is hard not to be moved by some of the harrowing images on the television. It is heartbreaking to see hard working people scrambling about their washed out homes , desperately trying to save their treasured belongings. Even David Cameron was moved by the devastation and went out to have a look for himself. At least he was able to look on the positive side of the events. Apparently, in his view, the country is not in as much trouble financially as the media portrays it. The dramatic increase in the number of indoor swimming pools is surely an indication of economic recovery.

David was not alone in identifying the positives in the situation. In several flooded out home I noticed fish tanks. That got me thinking what a pleasant change it must be for the fish. Usually they get visitors very infrequently.

If these floods continue as a regular occurrence, we are going to have to change our lifestyles to accommodate it. The issue of pets is likely to need redressing. It will be pointless getting a dog. Dogs tend to be energetic pets requiring regular walks. However, with the surrounds under water, perhaps pet selection will need greater consideration in future.

Wednesday, 21 November 2012

Literacy Rates

Children are no longer forced up chimneys or down pits, instead they are forced into school. Great emphasis is placed on the need for children to read and write. Schools are frequently measured by their pupils' development in these particular core skills. Consequently, appropriate reading material is essential and is a much sought after commodity.

However, it seems slightly ironic that despite being one of the best selling authors of childrens' books globally, Ronald Dahl can't even spell his own name.

Wednesday, 14 November 2012


Apparently, it is World Diabetes Day today. I can't see it really catching on. It doesn't have the same appeal as Christmas or Easter. We haven't put up any decorations or anything in our house. A cake was considered, then deemed inappropriate.
With obesity on the rise, diabetes is likewise rising, hand in amputated hand. So perhaps diabetes is natures great equaliser. As the pig people balloon in response to their greed and slothful existence, diabetes trims their extremities, thus reducing their weight.

 I considered making reference to a seesaw at this point, but once again, deemed it a little insensitive. It's not always a smart idea to rile a pachyderm. A charging rhino is a destructive uncompromising force.

Saturday, 10 November 2012


Looking back through history, our monarchs have had some colourful and interesting titles appended to their names. We had Alfred the Great, Æthelred the Unready, Edmund Ironside, William the Conquerer (also known as William the Bastard) and Edward the Confessor to name but a few.

I can't help thinking we're missing out on something nowadays. Afterall, who wouldn't look forward to being ruled by Charles the Twat!

Tuesday, 6 November 2012

Written In The Stars

For generations, countless people have believed that their fate is intrinsically linked to the stars.
That people born at a particular time of the year have their personalities sculpted by the position of various constellations.
Whilst others shun such a notion, frequently ridiculing the aforementioned believers.
Personally, I am unable to find fault with such a theory. After all, Jesus, Martin Luther King Jr, Gandhi and myself, we're all Capricorns!