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Thursday, 5 September 2013

Music Festivals

As summer draws to a close, so does the great music festival season. Every year, thousands of music enthusiasts, fun seekers and supporters of the arts elect to spend their weekends in muddy fields surrounded by hippies, drug dealers, nutters and the great unwashed in an attempt to witness their musical heroes strutting their stuff in the flesh.
Besides risking trench foot, food poisoning, premature deafness and a whole host of unpleasant diseases, revellers have to endure the horrors of the festival toilet facilities, or lack of them. At best, this involves standing in a long queue with all manner of weirdoes, awaiting the opportunity to squat over soiled festering dung hole in a chemical toilet cubicle.
Meanwhile, the prized position in front of the main stage has been taken by somebody else.

Time away from the main stage is always a problem. Not every act is required viewing. whilst some are to be actively avoided. Imagine having to witness a two hour set by Robbie Williams or one of the Gallagher brothers, just to gain the opportunity to see  a worthwhile act. Consequently, there will be times when it is deemed necessary to abandon a good vantage point.

When confronted with this quandary, I like to take a leaf out of nature's book. Following the example set by wolves, I like to urinate around my deck chair, thus marking my territory. It's amazing how few hippies are prepared to encroach on your space following such a blatant display. Allowing you to go about your business and return to your original chosen spot.

27 comments:

  1. Robbie Williams is a cock

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  2. Replies
    1. Robbie Williams looks like a monkey

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  3. My days of attending the big festivals are long gone. Nowadays I tend to stick to small folk festivals.

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  4. I went to the V Festival last year. Never again. Somebody stole my camera from my tent.

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  5. I've never been to a festival, but I did go to an S&M convention once. The toilets there were kind of freaky!

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    Replies
    1. I'm going again this year if you want to come.

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    2. ... freaky toilets? room for some fun? maybe I need to check them out... love some fresh female 'champagne' occasionally - well, quite often actually!! hehe

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  6. never been there would love to go.. use to go raves

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  7. I went to the Stonehenge festival many years ago. They didn't have toilets!

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    Replies
    1. Hippies and druids.....Eeeeek!

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  8. I just squat. I lose any shame at a festival.

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    Replies
    1. Can I watch?

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    2. I'm the same Judy. When you've got to go, you've got to go!

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    3. WHY do people get so bent out of shape when it comes to peeing and pooing? FFS... we ALL do it and who gives a damn if someone watches... when you have to go, you have to go - and it can be quite arousing to watch (and to be watched)!! ;)

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    4. Do you have a toilet spy cam? If so, where can I get one?

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  9. There is no way I'm sleeping in a field

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  10. Hi girls, Sue told me to invite you in ZE Club. Invites are coming soon ;-)

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  11. Oasis were proper shit

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  12. Why not pee on whoever is in your chair when you return to it.

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    Replies
    1. that might be an invitation for some to sit in your chair on purpose!!

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