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Thursday, 21 November 2013

Chrstmas Shopping

The Christmas adverts are in full swing. So I have decided to make inroads into my Christmas shopping this year before the annual mayhem ensues.
An early start buys you time, but the same difficult decisions need to be made. Finding the right gift for a little known Aunt is never straight forward. Fortunately, there is always the Bodyshop. Assortments of unusual smelling products are neatly boxed and presented at a wide range of prices, providing you with plenty of scope. Your contributions may even save an otter or help maintain the habitat for a rare dung beetle, thus providing you with an additional feel good factor.
The Bodyshop are thoughtful enough to place sample testers on their shelves, allowing you try the products prior to making a purchase. Consequently, I selected a bottle that contained a cream containing ingredients from some remote rain forest and squirted it into my hand. Unfortunately, considerably more than I anticipated came out, leaving me with a handful of sticky lotion.
 
Disposal of the aforementioned goo provided me with quite a quandary. However, at that precise moment, my luck changed for the better. A big fat pie pig entered the shop. Probably seeking out a miracle odour masking product, or maybe he just took the wrong turning whilst looking for a Greggs outlet. Either way, it was a godsend to me. I had already made up my mind that I would dispose of the lotion by casually wiping it on other shoppers. The good thing about fatties, is that they provide so much more surface area.


32 comments:

  1. If you were a woman you would have had some tissues in your bag.

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    1. Eve, not all guys carry hand bags when they go shopping.... if they did, they'd probably keep forgetting where they put them!! You know what we are like :) xx

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    2. I couldn't take a guy serious if he had a manbag.

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  2. At least the fatty ended up smelling better without even needing to make a purchase.

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  5. What would you have done if the fat person spotted you?

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  6. Now... not sure how many have spotted it.. but I don't do CHRSTMAS shopping and I don't care for CHRISTMAS shopping...
    As a typical male I leave it ALL to the last minute... have a pre-prepared list and route... go out and get it sorted as quickly as possible and usually do the wrapping in the early hours of Christmas morning!! Sorry... but that's me :) xx

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  7. neill dont take a piss out everything yr making a fool of yr self.
    X mass- omg- next day, can i change that? its like monday!

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    1. Why dis Neil? You're talking bollocks yourself!

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  8. Just because a person is fat, it doesn't mean they are not entitled to be treated with dignity.

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  9. If fat people show no respect for themselves, they can't expect other people to respect them.

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  10. Bought my xmas booze. Not bought any presents yet.

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  11. I'm sure they invent the names of their ingredients in the Bodyshop. I haven't heard of most of them.

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  12. Wow! Lots of comments have been deleted on here. Has someone been naughty?

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    1. It looks like he has removed his own comments

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    2. Not naughty, Carol, I removed them cos anonymous suggested I was making a fool of myself.

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    3. Do your own thing. It doesn't matter what anyone else says or thinks. Never compromise x

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    4. Joan is right. Just be yourself Neil.

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    5. I thought the whole point of this blog was that you could say what you want. No limits, nothing taboo.

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  13. I love everything about Christmas, but I'm not keen on Bodyshop products.

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  14. I leave my xmas shopping until the last minute. I enjoy the challenge.

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  15. I feel sort of sorry for the fatty

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    1. I bet you are still giggling like the rest of us.

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