I've always been a great supporter of the arts. So when the chance came for me to broaden my horizons with a trip to my local pantomime, I didn't hesitate. For those not familiar with this particular form of entertainment, it consists of a lot of middle aged men cross-dressing and attempting to engage with small children whilst seeking opportunities to flash large spotted or brightly coloured female under garments at them.
At certain points throughout the performance, the audience are encouraged to shout out 'He's behind you!' with great gusto. By this stage I feared the worse and I shouted with conviction at the thought of Jimmy Savilesque atrocities being performed before my very eyes.
When I could take no more, I made the necessary phone call and let Operation Yewtree do the rest.