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Tuesday, 16 April 2013

Carbon Footprint.


We've seriously messed up the weather. It is no longer possible to even tell what season it is. Apparently, we are all to blame collectively. According to the scientists, our wasteful nature is leaving massive Carbon Footprints all over the planet. Which in turn are leading to all manner of unpleasantness due to climatic changes.

Consequently, I've decided to rid myself of the burden of guilt, by making more of an effort to recycle. Not only am I making my own candles out of ear wax, but I'm growing mustard and cress on my old underpants. Nobody can point there finger at me and say that I'm not doing my bit!

28 comments:

  1. You twisted freak!

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  2. I recycle my panties be selling them online.

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    Replies
    1. Can I buy some?

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    2. I tend to give my panties as gifts to my lovers if I think they have earned them.

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    3. I'm in the market for some french lacy panties.

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    4. I've never thought about selling my old panties online before. How much do you get for them?

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    5. It depends if they're used

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  3. I always find that if I soil my underpants first I get a better crop.

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  4. I've been trying to reduce my carbon fooyprint by cycling. I feel fitter and sleep better at nights. Unfortunately, when switch the tv on and see how wasteful the americans are, I can't help feeling I'm wasting my time.

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  5. It's surprising how frowned upon shitting in the garden is.

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    Replies
    1. Shitting in someone else's garden is even more frowned upon!

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    2. There is never anything to wipe your arse with and their dog is very reluctant to lick it clean.

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    3. I once did a poo on a noisy neighbour's doorstep.

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    4. OMG! you dirty cow!

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  6. I sort my waste as the council demands, but that is about it.

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  7. I caught our gardener shitting in the garden once. I just thought it was something that they do. Perhaps he was just trying to reduce his carbon footprint.

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  8. Bigger people have bigger underwear and can grow more mustard and cress. So we do have value!

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    Replies
    1. It would never happen. Everybody knows fat people are allergic to salad.

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    2. Are you still trying to justify your existence?

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  9. Replies
    1. Recycling or on life?

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    2. Recycling, life is too much fun to give up on.

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  10. What a brilliant idea. If you plant your crop in a pair with skid marks in, it will grow in a nice straight line, making it easier to harvest.

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    Replies
    1. PMSL! i think you might have issues.

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  11. I'm collecting my toenail clippings. I'm not sure what I'm going to do with them yet, but I'm sure I will find a purpose.

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