Once again Halloween is almost upon us. On a positive note, they usually put some classic horror movies on television. Unfortunately, this is outweighed by the down side to Halloween. Dozens of scrounging neighbour kids banging on my door after handouts. It's bad enough that my taxes are paying for their scrounging parents' benefits.
Not this year. I have a cunning plan. By spray painting "dirty nonce" and "paedo" on the outside of my house, those grabbing little urchins should stay well clear of my humble abode. A nice quiet night in front of the television beckons.