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Tuesday, 7 October 2014

Jihad

Are you having trouble adjusting to a civilised world?

Do you have the social conscience of a dog caught short in a children's playground?

Do you believe the Dark Ages were fun for all the family?

Do you have a beard that resembles a rabid otter?

If you can answer"yes" to all four questions, you might want to give Jihad a go.
The trouble is, which barking mad group do you join? There's plenty to choose from. There's Boko Haram, ISIS/ISIL, Hamas, al-Qaeda or the Taliban, to name but a few.
I suppose it comes down to personal preference. If you're good at Hide and Seek and like living in a cave, you might want to join al-Qaeda. However, if kidnapping and child abuse is more your thing, you might want to consider Boko Haram.
If you feel yourself attracted to livestock, perhaps the Taliban is for you. Maybe you are not particularly gifted in the bravery department. If that is you, then why not hide behind some children with Hamas. Do you think necks look better without heads? If so, perhaps you should throw your lot in with ISIS/ISIL.
Alternatively, and I know this is a bit of a long shot, you could give peace a go and just enjoy a bacon sandwich and a pint of beer.......Lovely!

30 comments:

  1. Big bushy ginger beard are popular with losers joining terrorist groups.

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  2. Replies
    1. There's a video doing the rounds of a Taliban doing a donkey.

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    2. I would rather shag a donkey than a taliban

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    3. Do the donkeys get stoned to death after they've shagged them?

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    4. Yes they do, and after they are dead they shag them again.

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    5. They would shag anything. Then they try and pass moral judgement on the rest of us.

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  3. I know it sounds harsh, but I would kill them all. They do nothing but ruin lives.

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    Replies
    1. You know it.

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    2. I don't think anyone would miss them.

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  4. The truth is out there

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  5. Do the women also have beards?

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    Replies
    1. Don't buy barbaric halal food8 October 2014 at 13:32

      Yes. Some even have them on their faces!

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    2. Is that why they make them cover up? To stop them from scaring children?

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  6. They also think its ok to stone gays.

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  7. It's good to laugh at these idiots.

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  8. It's hard to regard these people as humans.

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  9. My friends Gran has a beard. I can't stop giggling. I don't think she would make a very good terrorist though.

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  10. Perhaps we should start cutting their heads off and sticking them on spikes. Feed their bodies to pigs.

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  11. We should start cutting their heads off

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