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Thursday, 28 February 2013

Wide Load

I was driving down the M5 motorway today, when I found myself stuck behind a lorry, proudly displaying a Wide Load notice on the rear. I pondered the relevance of this notice. Was it referring to the vehicle or the driver? You never seem to see a thin lorry driver, and I want to know why!
I accept that they spend much of their day sitting down, and I'm ignorant to the calorific value of Yorkie Bars and Pro Plus. I also acknowledge that very little energy is expended in concealing illegal immigrants, but surely raping and murdering hitch hikers must be the equivalent of a good workout!

17 comments:

  1. When I was younger and hitched around Europe, lorry drivers always tried to take liberties. More than once I had to jump from the cab to avoid being raped.

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  2. They're not fussy who they get it off either. I've had to blow lorry drivers many a time in return for lifts.

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  3. Are lorry drivers allergic to soap?

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  4. Someone needs to tell them that spraying with deodorant is no substitute for washing.

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  5. Do lorry drivers tend to be catholics?

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    1. I don't know what percentage of lorry drivers are catholics, but I do know that 100% of lorry drivers are arseholes.

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  6. Replies
    1. Thats like asking what's wrong with crapping yourself in public.

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  7. Lorry drivers smell of BO and dress like tramps.

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    1. Can't argue with that one Zara. I know the often work long hours, but it is no excuse for not washing.

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  8. Why do so many lorry drivers wear Jimmy Saville style track suits. Usually with dried food stuck down the front of it.

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  9. They're all a bunch of thieves!

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  10. When I was in Belguim last year, An English lorry driver offered me 20 euros to get in his cab. He said he didn't want to touch me, he just wanted me to sit in his cab with him. I would not of got in for 1000 euros. He was fat and smelly and I did not trust him.

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    Replies
    1. How much would you have charged?

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  11. Hogs of the road, in more ways than one!

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  12. Why do all lorry drivers think you will give them a blow job just because they have given you a lift?

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  13. Lorry drivers are all doggers.

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